An Evening With Carter
by Jinzle
Summary: A little one shot expanding on my favorite scene in The Softer They Fall.


**An Evening With Carter**

Karl Langenscheidt stood outside the Kommandant's office on sentry duty. He'd much rather walk a post outside the fence than his current duty assignment. Even peeling potatoes or scrubbing the barracks with his toothbrush would be better than this. Standing guard at night inside the Kommandantur had to be the most boring job to be had at the Stalag. At least with duty outside the fence he could move around and occasionally say something to the fellow guards. Here there wasn't anything but the relentless ticking of the clock. He wouldn't even had to pull this duty except the Kommandant caught him today laughing at Carter doing an impression of the Führer . The Kommandant was right. It reflected poorly on him as a loyal German and a solider to encourage the prisoners to engage in such behavior. Besides, if someone else had caught him the punishment could have been a lot worse. But the entire bit was too funny for words.

He glanced at the clock whose hands seemed to be frozen in place. Karl sighed as he placed his thumbs in his belt buckle and leaned against the door jamb. The bottom of his feet burned from having stood in one place for so long. _This duty is never ending_, he thought to himself. He briefly thought about banging his head against the door jamb just to have something to do but immediately dismissed it. What if someone came in and caught him. Most people didn't think he was too bright to begin with. Last thing he needed was to add crazy to the list.

The door leading outside opened and man dressed as a Luftwaffe leutnant peeked around the door before coming inside. Langenscheidt raised an eyebrow as he instantly recognized Carter. _This should be interesting_. _Maybe the night won't be as long as boring as I thought it was going to be_. Carter entered the outer office and immediately went into his shtick. It took all Langenscheidt's control not to bust out laughing. Did they really think he was that dumb not to immediately recognize who was standing in front of him? After all, the disguise was just a mustache and glasses. Even a blind Weimaraner could see through that.

Pointing at the door he just came through, Carter, doing his best German Officer impression, asked, "Where is Private Muller?"

"_Private_ Muller Herr Leutnant?" _Ach mein Gott_, he thought, _doesn't Carter realize he said private and not obersoldat? Really Oberst Hogan needs to have Carter work on his routine._

"Ja," replied Carter apparently oblivious to his faux pas. "The man I ordered to stand outside that door."

Langenscheidt gave an internal sigh. _Maybe I could give him another hint_. "I didn't know we had a _**Private**_Muller, sir." Langenscheidt did his best not to laugh right then and there at the crazy American. He watched with anticipation as Carter attempted to regroup.

"What about Schmitt?" Carter asked cautiously.

_Nope, went completely by him. This is starting to be fun._ "Oh we have a _**Sergeant**_Schmitt, sir."

"Ja, that's the man," Carter replied. "Where is he?"

"Off duty I believe, sir," he replied doing his best to keep a smile off his face. Inside he was doubled over laughing.

"Off duty?" Carter roared, "Dummkopf!" Langenscheidt turned his head slightly to keep the spittle flying from Carter's mouth from hitting him in the face. Carter caught up in his role; couldn't see the obvious amusement on the young Obergefreiter's face. "I will see that he is transferred to the Russian Front."

"Yes sir," Langenscheidt said while struggling not to smile.

"I will see his entire family transferred to the Russian Front!"

_Mien Gott, I'm going to lose it right here in front of him if Carter keeps this up._

"Now you go outside and take his place outside the door. I will stand here," ordered Carter.

"Jawohl Herr Leutnant," Langenscheidt said as he hurried for the door. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to hold in the laughter.

"Now march," ordered Carter from his position by the Kommandant's door. "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, eins, zwei, drei, vier….."

As soon as Langenscheidt got outside, he fell against the outside wall and slid down into a sitting position. Clutching his belly he began to laugh. Leave it to Hogan to make boring sentry duty an experience to remember.

A/n:

_This scene is from "The Softer They Fall." I am always amused by the look on Langenscheidt's face as Carter enters the room and it inspired me to write this little piece. I hope you all enjoyed it._


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